The lost art of writing.

Yup... just blue skies and piers for
us freelancers. In opposite land.

In case you have been living under a rock and haven’t noticed, website content and “search engine optimization” are a couple of the hottest marketing tactics being used to promote businesses/brands these days. And, in case you don’t know what the heck that means – basically, it’s the use of online writing to get noticed.

You would think that this is good news for all freelance writers out there. Right?

Wrong.

Stupid people CAN serve a purpose.

I don't know what you're
saying, but I'll repeat it anyway.

Is it mean to use another person’s inability to form an original thought to further your own agenda? 

I offer the following for your consideration:

We all know a Suzie. She’s a coworker, so we have to deal with her in a professional manner every day. Or, maybe she’s the wife of a friend, or the spouse of your boss or a spouse’s boss.

In any case, Suzie is not the person you would spend a lot of time with if the choice was yours, but sometimes in life we are forced to put others before ourselves and we just deal with it. We do it because we are mature adults. We do it because we see a long range benefit. We continue to do it until the risk of prison forces us to admit defeat and avoid her, no matter what.

Terra Nova, like a dinosaur in an hourglass

...but I love you, I am just
misunderstood, and brooding.

Terra Nova was hyped up to be THE show to watch out for. Produced by Steven Spielberg, and a budget of  around $4 million per episode, it'd have to be awesome... right?


Four episodes in and all I can say is, "where did all the money go?"


It sure didn't go to the writers. 

BUY MY STUFF! I know you heard me...

...and heard by your neigbour,
or neighbouring country.

Picture this: you’re watching an emotional drama on TV. A husband sits at the side of a hospital bed, looking into his wife’s eyes. She’s dying. The silence in the room speaks volumes about the depth of their devotion to each other. They both well up with tears as the wife whispers her final words of love to her dutiful husband. YOU begin to well up with tears at the thought of losing your own loved ones. Why is life so sad? As the scene ends, the screen fades to black. The program goes to commercial and a sad calm descends on your living room ...

Embracing the Nerd.

Oh yeah... it's how we roll.

I play video games.  I watch anime.  I read comics.  Big deal.  Just because you spend your time on other pursuits doesn't make you any better than me.  (I would argue that I am the better one in this case, since I'm not a judgmental prick, I won't.  I'm above it.)

Don't break the chain

If you loved god harder, the
bear wouldn't be hurt.
You are a bad person.  

Twenty years ago I was in the 4^th grade.

On arriving back at my much doodled on desk I found an envelope waiting for me, and I remember looking at it with some concern, was it a love letter? Or worse (maybe) was it a note requesting a parent teacher conference?

It was neither.

Give so that a CEO doesn't starve...

...and huge salary/car/pension
 plan/bonuses/house/spousal
allowance/school fees...

Ever wondered what is happening to the billions of dollars that philanthropists are pumping into third world countries?

I have an idea what is happening to the funds.

I don't want an iPhone, I want my old brick back.

When phones were phones... and
sometimes doorstops.

I am probably the least tech savvy person in the world.

I admit it.

I still haven’t figured out how to work the new Facebook re-design!

X Factor. The average, the bad, and the smarmy.

What's my back story?
What do you want it to be?

It’s no secret that reality television has become a mainstay of the industry over the past number of years. To say that some have been ridiculous is an understatement.

Coffee. Just give me my damn, oh, wait a minute...

Neeed coffee; give it to me.

With the every event throughout the day conspiring to 'get' me it was with some relief that I got in my car and quickly hit the highway before anyone else could try and grab a piece of my time.

Facebook: it's where the wild sheep are.

It's a strange and interesting, if not particularly brave, new world most of us are connected to.

It's a world based almost entirely on the consideration of how people manipulate themselves to be perceived  by others.

An easy task for me, people expect me to be borishly opinionated, because for the most part that is what I am like in real life.

She also hates babies, apparently.

No, she's not 'Exploring her environment',
she is screaming, and coming toward me.

In reading your baby rant, I recall many times in which I have been faced with that same issue. Of course, no one could accuse me of not liking babies - that would be unheard of.

People are lazy.

Oh they WISHED they looked
this good

Someone had to say it.

I am a Dietician, and manage a gym day to day, and it is my opinion that when it comes down to it, people just don't care about themselves, have no drive, and choose to be sloths.